My "Crazy Books" come from a period of time which included immense personal awakening where I felt compelled to "help the world." It took me awhile, but I eventually discovered that there is no such thing as "the world", which is a dangerous and delusional objectification in the face of "my world", "your world" and "our world."
None-the-less these works persist as reminders of a different world, artifacts of a different era, each uniquely forged from different aspects of the human experience and are thus farcinating works of art in any context.
Be forewarned that none of these works are suitable for children and each has been collaged utilizing some part of my real life experience, which when one thinks about it, really is that different from the rest of my collage work, just more intricate and perhaps bordering on the edge of becoming hypersigils.
Note: the majority of the hyperlinks contained within these works are now defunct and could lead anywhere, so I generally don't recommend clicking on anything contained within. This includes the complex riddle which is spread across several of the titles.
AFFIRMATIONS
Collected Works of Irony
This is the most polished (pun intended) of my "Crazy Books", it is a visual journey through affirmational statements which are presented between bright yellow serif text and grey text in my personal handwritten font (BullShine Jack 6) on a brown background that represents the act of refining the "Gold" (of wisdom) and "Silver" (personal reflection) which is contained within the "$hit" (suffering) of life. A theory which came to me long before I knew anything about The Jungian Perspective of "Mental Alchemy."
Affirmations was meant to be part of a continuing series all with a-based titles such as "Assertations" containing favourite wisdom sayings and reflections, but after experiencing a lack of traction gave up on the project.
Affirmations is also where I first started utilizing the tilde character "~" as a symbol of irony, which I often find life and living to be completely enveloped by.
FACT: The official theme song of Affirmations is "Scatman (ski-ba-bop-ba-dop-bop)" by Scat Man John
P.S. I still love and utilize Affirmations in my daily practices, as I find statements of inherent wisdom far easier to remember than things like bureaucracy, tax laws or people's names.
THE $HITCH ISSUE 1
a.k.a. The $hitch Wich Pages
The $hitch is a Portmanteau Eggcorn Neologism Idiom Sniglet for "$hitty Existential Itch", which is what I was suffering from at the time I created this eZine which is meant to mimic the aniline purple and alcohol soaked Ditto Machine/Spirit Duplicator pages from my elementary school daze back in the 1980's.
The idea came about when I was talking to a learned actor friend of mine who recently passed away. At that time I had been explaining my existential angst which he related to a book entitled "La Nausée a.k.a. Nausea" by philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre. Of course I never actually read La Nausée opting instead to read the Wikipedia Page and jump straight into vomiting my own repressed emotions regarding my world into a fascinating reflection of my personal sense of humour.
FACT: The official theme song of The $hitch is "Counterfeiters Blues" by Corb Lund, with brilliantly reflective lyrics such as "this is grape juice and cheap vodka, man, this isn't even wine."
P.S. This downloadable nose pincher/origami oracle/cootie catcher a.k.a. "The $hitch Page 81 Detector" was original a free promotion for this title which saw several repackaged editions including the 2nd edition downloadable above.
THE ~IT~ CHING!
A Book of Spare Change from The Itchy Manitou
THE ~IT~ CHING! Combines the formula of the Classic Book of Changes with a unique divination system that I've always wanted to expand on which utilizes popsicles sticks.
~IT~ (here dramatized ironically between double tildes with great personal irony) represents the acronym I.T. for Information Technology which is my personal theory of everything; which is that there is nothing which IT cannot explain. For example: what is IT? IT is what IT is and To know what IT is, one must know what IT is not, etc... ad infinitum.
Here is another example, take the P versus NP problem, where by applying IT we find a perfectly acceptable solution in the following ITformation: "IT doesn't matter if one is handed all the answers from the beginning, one still has to go out and prove IT to themselves." Therefore P (polynomial time) is the equal opposite of PN (nondeterministic polynomial time). In other words, you simply cannot have one without "the other." Which is as basic to computer science, where binary zero and one create everything, as it is fundamental to Eastern philosophies where one simply cannot have black without white and vice versa.
Sure, IT isn't going to win me a million dollar prize for creating solutions to unsolvable math conundrums, nor a Noble Peace Prize, but to me IT is 1000% better than having no solution at all.
Seriously, after watching the greatest scientific and philosophical minds struggle to find a functional Theory of Everything, IT really does IT for me.
FACT: The official theme song of this publication is "Epic" by Faith No More. While many great ITformations can be found within popular music, such as "IT isn't having what you want, IT is wanting what you have" from "Soak Up The Sun" by Cheryl Crow, "The more I see, the less I know, the more I like to let IT go" from "Snow" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers or "I don't care what you think, as long as IT is about me, the best of us can find happiness in misery" (see syncretic philosophy of Affirmations) from "I Don't Care" by Fall Out Boy, "Epic" takes the cake (because you can't have your cake and eat IT too) as the most IT infused song I have ever encountered.
P.S. This download was a co-promotion that involved a highly unsuccessful campaign entitled Anti-Landmine.com. The premise was to shock individuals into realizing they were lucky to be alive utilizing extremely provocative language. For example, if this paragraph had been an actual landmine, you would be lucky to be dead right now and not horrifically bleeding to death from massive explosive, concussive and shrapnel injuries. Unsurprisingly, this philosophical outlook of radical appreciation has never caught on.
419
A Fictionalized Novella
Based On Actual Events
419 is my favourite of all my "Crazy Books", it was created partially from a real-life messenger conversation which was obviously a scripted scammer coupled to my own highly sardonic responses which continued over a period of several weeks, which was notably longer than any previous such conversational attempt to capture a scammer's scripted responses in whole.
The process of creating 419 was actually a therapeutic process for me, as at the time I was facing up to real-life responsibilities which I only survived through the escapism of writing
FACT: The official theme song of 419 is "You Blocked me On Facebook, and now you're going to DIE" by Knife Party.
P.S. This is the only "Crazy Book" on this page without a proper Post Script, perhaps I will think of one. Like how the final chapter of the book is the only wholly fictoinal component... maybe...
64 SHADES OF BACOMEGLE
Looking For Two Strangers...
Long before stumbling across IT, I encountered another Theory of Everything dubbed Bacon based on the Trifarce of Bacon Power where Bacosimony (Bacon tastes good), Bacosimilitude (The only thing that tastes like Bacon is Bacon) and Bacophenia (Bacon is as Bacon does) create the Baconything which is completely analogous to IT. For example, replace any ITformation on this page with Bacon and the axiom will hold true, if albeit in a more humorous manner.
Oddly enough, at the time, this was one of my more popular philosophical offerings, entertaining even those specifically known to not to consume Bacon. Eventually I realized that Bacon was just an analog for IT, but that doesn't exclude Bacon for being a scrumptious example of the thought experiment that individually and collectively we are ultimately all the authors of our own stories. Which is a pretty interesting modality for deepening one's awareness practice.
If that isn't strange enough, there's 64 Shades of Bacomegle, another creation partially based on real life material collected from 64 random conversations created through the "Ask Strangers" feature which was once the most amusing component of the now defunct Omegle platform.
In fact, the aim of this title is to literally be the strangest thing ever written containing some of the most bizarre real life conversations imaginable from self-professed werewolves to possibly the most awkward cyber intimacy ever documented to complete breakdowns over song lyics and even an orignal story from one of my personal storytelling universes.
FACT: The official them song of 64 Shades of Bacomegle is "People Are Strange" cover by The Dead South.
P.S. "In the Baconning there was no thing and the Good Lard said, 'Let There Be Bacon!' And there was still nothing, but at least you could smell IT cooking! Ohm-Nom-Nom!" ~ The Bacon Caesar, First Deacon and Beacon of Bacon.
COCKZILLA!
Atomic Barnyard Avenger
Fortunately I regained my sensibilities before unleashing COCKZILLA! Atomic Barnyard Avenger, while the concept of a science fantasy anthology continues today within the spirit of the MECHA MESSIAH Substack.
I also became more grounded before published my fully written 7th project, an untitled anthology of original science fiction-themed erotica forged by my author's envy when I learnt that 50 Shades of Grey was originally just a bunch of Twilight fanfic.
P.S. So, is there an actual takeaway from any of this other than otherwise incomprehensible philosophy and some very noisy "Crazy Books"? My answer is a resounding "Yes!" Because, if nothing else, I learnt the importance of creative expression in maintaining sanity. Along with the vital importance of proper editing, which out of all these titles, only Affirmations received. Which I feel really shows through in the quality of the final publications. There is also something to be said for unabashidly expressing one's most crazy self! 🤪
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